I’m BACK, bitches! (And mom) And I’m creepier and more worse at crafts (and apparently writing) than ever before!
Originally this was supposed to be a Super-Cute-DIY-Snow-Globe-Peppermint-Schnapps-And-Hot-Cocoa-Perfect-Post. But guess what. I’M NOT LIKE THEM.
Sigh, the snow globes were a big pile of fail. But, like they always say in crafting, a mistake isn’t a mistake, it’s a new discovery. Or some shit.
Valentines Day GLITTER BOMBS.
What You Need For Valentines Day GLITTER BOMBS:
Glitter, All Kinds
Dolls, All Parts
E9000 Glue OR Crazy glue
What You Need For a Saint Valentines Day Massacre:
Blood Orange Juice
Few dashes of Rhubarb bitters
1.) DO NOT USE BABY OIL. I did, because other craft blogs were all “oooh you can use baby oil instead of glycerin if you want I’m a big fat LIAR.” Use glycerin. I blame part of the failure on this.
2.) DO NOT USE PLASTIC OBJECTS. There are many reasons why. But the creepiest reason (somehow) is that glitter sticks to plastic like a lazy writer sticks to similes. I blame all the failure (or awesome) on this.
3.) For whatever reason, these same “craft blogs” recommend using distilled water. Which is boiled water that is then cooled. Which, dumb.
4.) If, while ringing you up for four plastic naked dolls, the Goodwill lady asks if you make doll clothes, JUST SAY YES.
5.) It’s always best to have a craft equivalent safe word. You’ll see what I mean.
6.) I’m very sorry.
Well, here goes nothing.
1.) Save some jars! Pick out some jars! Raid your friend’s JAR SHELF.
2.) Gather your materials into a creepy pile on the floor.
3.) Decide what you want in your jars and….make that happen.
4.) Make sure it fits in the jar.
5.) Glue your object(s) onto the cap.
6.) Let them set!
7.) In the meantime, fill your jar with things you’d like floating around in there.
8.) Pour in the stupid glycerin and dilstilled water. Make sure to account for density and other nerd things.
9.) Put glue on the edges of the cap. So it won’t leak.
10.) Pop that sucker in there.
12.) Put them in a bag, go home. Pout.
13.) Now what?
14.) GOT IT.
PART II – Bringing Magic! To Valentines Day!
AKA Being a bigger creep!
So, what do you do with jars of clumpy glitter, doll parts and overall feelings of badness? On Valentines Day?
1.) Hide it in someone’s bed!
2.) Put it in your bathroom!
3.) Place it on a doorstep!
4.) Line them up outside of an apartment!
5.) It got weird didn’t it?
Part III – Let’s Forget That Just Happened.
AKA – Drinky Drink time!
St. Valentines Day Massacre:
1 oz. Blood Orange Juice
1 oz. Gin
1 oz. Campari
Few dashes of Rhubarb bitters
1.) Pour the blood orange juice, Gin (or as my grandma calls it, Panther Piss) and Camparini over ice in a high ball glass and stir.
2.) Scream while adding the dashes of rhubarb bitters.
Well I have a rule that once Panther Piss enters a blog, it’s time to wrap it up. I hope you enjoyed this week’s Crafty Hour and that it brings you hours of friendship happiness.